Because of you
by speakingwordsofwisdom
Summary: Glinda always thought Elphaba couldn't be hurt. She was wrong.
1. Chapter 1

I don't think I'll ever forget the first time I saw you cry.

It was just after the Oz Dust ball, maybe a week, maybe more, and although i suppose it was at the ball we became friends, i think it was only later that I really got to know you. The real you, not the sarcastic shell you wore like a mask around everyone else at Shiz, and not the slightly less sarcastic, slightly more relaxed version I was treated to for the first week or so of our friendship.

It was about 11 o'clock, and I'd left Shenshens party early for once, pleading a made-up headache for an excuse. I didn't know I had decided to go until I was in the corridor outside our room, and I still wasn't sure why I wanted to leave in the first place.

Something had changed, and while i had no idea when it had first happened, i knew that the people whose company I'd once craved suddenly seemed shallow and boring. The parties I'd once loved had lost some of their excitement once I'd started to realise they were all the same, and the chatter that had once been my oxygen had started to suffocate me with its insipidness.

At the same time, your caustic remarks that had once irritated me suddenly felt like a breath of fresh air. I found myself hoping you were in our room when I got back, even just to see you roll your eyes and say something sarcastic about my new dress. You were the only person, it seemed, with a mind of their own.

And to me, stifled with adoration, you were the easiest person to be around because I didn't have to be perfect anymore.

With you, I could just **be**.

I was hoping you'd be still be awake as I pushed open the door, but when I saw you curled up on your bed with your back to the door, I guessed you'd fallen asleep.

I was in the middle of taking off my shoes when I heard stifled sobbing.

At first I wondered where it was coming from.

Then I realised it was you.

Up until then, I'd never thought you capable of tears. Seriously, if anyone had asked me, I would have said you just didn't. And it's not like I didn't realise you probably had enough problems to stress anyone out, like the stupid, mindless prejudice you'd probably had to put up with every day of your life.

Its just that until then, with your smile that hid so much bitterness, your perfect grades, your acid sense of humour and sarcastic remarks, I'd always assumed you didn't care.

And now I was seeing just how wrong I was...


	2. Chapter 2

Standing there in the middle of our room, holding my shoes in one hand, my bag in the other, watching the part of you I never knew existed, I knew two things.

I knew that the reason I had never seen this side of you before was because you didn't want me, or anyone else, for that matter, to see it. I knew that the kindest thing to do right now would be to take my things and go back to the party, leave you here for a few hours to get yourself together, come back, and never talk about it again. I could let you keep your terrible, pathetic pride, forget, and carry on as before, our shaky, mismatched friendship still intact.

Or I could prove, to myself and to you, that I thought of you as the same as everyone else, that to me you weren't the green bean, the artichoke, the freak, just another normal teenage girl. I could try to break through the invisible wall, and if that meant that you cursed me or ran from me or never spoke to me ever again, well, so be it.

I could put myself on the line for you. I would never have walked away from another friend.

And even if it didn't work and I lost you in the process...well, that would be my sacrifice for never taking the trouble to get to know you before now.

"Elphie?" I sat on the edge of the bed and touched your shoulder "Are you alright?"

Instead of biting my head off like I half expected, you just looked up at me with a tear streaked face I didn't know.

The unhappiness that welled up in your big brown eyes was so pitiful my heart broke for you. I'd always known you spent most of your life wearing a mask but now I could see your acidic comments, your snide observations of the people around you, your detachment from everyone and everything... I saw it all for what it was, a tragic attempt to hide your real self away before the world could hurt you anymore.

Because god knows, it had done enough already...

"Wh-what are you doing here? I-I thought you were at a party..."

"It was boring. So I left." I stopped, choosing my words. "Elphie...can I help you?"

Another tear slid down your cheek. "Help with what?"

"Whatever's wrong. Anything. Would it make you feel better if I spread a couple of incriminating rumours about people?"

It was only a tiny smile, but it made it easier for me to breathe when I saw it.

"N-no, it's okay. Anyway, you can't help."

You turned over.

Away from me.

But I wasn't going to give up this easy.

"Elphie" I brushed away your long black hair that formed a curtain across your face, and moved closer "Please tell me"

Muffled. "No."

"Elphie, please?"

A silence.

"Look, I know I'm not as smart as you, I know I'm just the spoilt blond girl you have to room with, I know that. But we're friends. And sometimes it helps just to talk. And I'm probably the best at talking, out of everyone you know. Seriously, Elphie, I promise I won't laugh or spread it around or anything. I just want to help..."

The silence was so long, i thought you weren't going to reply.

Then "You're not just a spoilt blond..."

I smiled.

"Okay. I'll tell you. There's nothing you can do, though."

"Please?"

"Okay..."


	3. Chapter 3

"Nessa got a letter from father today..."

I waited.

"He says...he s-says..." Omigod, I wanted to tear the words from you. Seeing the pain flicker across your face as you struggled to find the right way to say it was killing me, and it made me want to run from the room and DO something, anything to make everything okay again.

But I couldn't. I settled for grasping your hand in a mute gesture of comfort. I'd expected you to snatch it back. But you didn't. And maybe I was imagining it, but I think your voice got a fraction stronger.

"He wrote to Nessa. And told her what time he'd be here to bring her back home for the holidays..."

A pause. Then, with a quiet acceptance, betrayed by the tears sliding down your face, "And he told her to tell me not to bother packing. I'm not welcome at his home any longer, apparently. Now that I'm 17. I'm not to try to contact him."

I'd been unable to suppress a gasp of horror, and I could barely begin to understand what you were telling me. What kind of father would do this to his daughter? To just dispose of her as carelessly and callously as if she was an object? To cut her out of his life completely just because of her skin-colour? I didn't buy the lie about it being a sort of twisted coming-of-age ritual.

My thoughts must have shown on my face, because I was brought back to reality with your bitter laugh.

"I know. I suppose he must have been planning this since I was born..."

"Elphie, I'm sure that's not true..."

I'm a terrible liar. That was the one time in my lifeIi would have given everything I had to be able to make you believe what I said, even if I didn't believe it myself.

"It is. I suppose I don't blame him. I killed my mother, damaged my sister. I somehow manage to make everyone I meet hate me within minutes. If I were him, I'd hate me too..."

And I watched as your sarcastic, ironic humour melted away into nothing, leaving you to your harsh reality...and you dissolved into tears all over again...

**Pinkpolkadots59, Orange-Green, and Lightning-call upon my name, thank you so much for reviewing/adding my story! Please enjoy my home-made virtual cookies.**

**PLEASE, PLEASE review! You know you want to, especially since reviews are the only good thing in my life right now! Just joking...sort of...**

**BTW, did anyone have a snow day today? I did, and it was genius ****Possibly will write a gelphie fic based around it in some way... **

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to wonderful reviewing peeps**

**James birdson**

**Stephanie**

**Lozzakapozza and**

**Leia Emberblaze**

**You are all awesome, and i hope you enjoy your virtual cookies, which will be coming by broomstick ;)**

**Disclaimer: I invented the idea for wicked while not having a job, not getting round to making plans with anyone, not revising for my modules, dying my hair purple and going to weird sleepover you can read about in my other story "A slightly random sleepover".**

**Now you can go sue me. Have fun with that.**

I have no idea what to say. So i draw you into my arms instead, and hug you tightly, and wonder what can i possibly do?

Nothing. There's nothing i can do. All i can do is hold you, as you cling to me with something akin to trust. And i taste bitter shame for my cosseted, protected life, so different to yours, and the stupid, mindless prejudice of people in general, proving once and for all that in the end, hate is stronger than love.

I always had believed it was the other way round, but the evidence for the opposite is sobbing right in front of me.

I have nothing to say, nothing that means anything anyway.

Don't cry? Something tells me you've been living by that phrase most of your life, but if anyone anywhere ever had reason to cry, its you.

It's okay? To say that would feel like an insult; its not true anyway, no matter how much i want it to be.

But i can't say nothing...

"Elphie...it's not your fault, okay?" I paused "Any of it. Your mother, Nessa...that was all because of your father-"

You cut me off, your words muffled against my neck. "Y-you may be the expert, b-but do you know what my f-first memory is, Miss Glinda?"

I shook my head, mute.

"My first m-memory is my father telling me mother's death was because of me. And n-no one, not even the doctor, ever challenged him. So you'll forgive me for contradicting you."

" Elphie-"

"Glinda, it's...it's okay. I-I've accepted it...And i don't blame father or Nessa for hating me, or anyone else. I'm not crying because of them. I'm crying because...because even w-when you accept that you deserve something, it still hurts..." Your voice wavered, broke, and even as i felt my heart ache for you, i felt something else too, the beginnings of anger.

I hugged you fiercly again, and raised my voice above your sobs.

"Elphie! Listen to me! No matter what anyone says, it is not your fault! I refuse to let you accept something that isn't true! Your mother died giving birth to Nessa too early, and that's why she's in a chair, right? Right?"

I felt you nod.

"And that happened because of the milk flowers, right?"

I am so greatful you told me the details of this.

"The milk flowers which your father forced your mother to eat?"

"But only because..."

"Because he couldn't cope with having a child whose skin was a little different to his? His own prejudice is not your fault, Elphie. He knows that too. He takes his anger out on you because he knows it was his fault. He just doesn't want to accept it, that's all."

You didn't say anything at first. Then:

" Miss Glinda, are you just making this up to make me feel better?"

"Two things. Firstly, PLEASE stop calling me Miss Glinda. I really hate it. And second..."

I was trying to think of a better way to put it, wishing i had a bigger vocabulary or something, when you interrupted, narrowing your eyes.

"You hate being called Miss Glinda?"

I nodded, slightly disconcerted at your sudden change of subject but at least you'd more or less stopped crying. "It sounds so...it just gets on my nerves. It's so formal, and prissy. There's nothing wrong with my name, it doesn't need a prefix..."

A small smile played around your lips. "But...Miss Glinda...i mean, Glinda...you practically invented it! And all your friends call you Miss Glinda..."

"I know. But i don't like it when you use it."

With just a hint of sarcasm you looked at me "Why? Because I'm not your friend?"

"No. Because you're the only friend i have who counts."

xxx

So, what did you think?

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Loveage xxxxx


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: yes, i own wicked and all green people, and all blonde people and all bubbles, hats, brooms, flying monkeys,magic wands ect... now deal with it :p**

**For the record...everyone who has reviewed is COOL and AWESOME. and i'm sorry about the delay in updating, but i had my modules, and then i had to freak out afterwards, which took up a lot of time. not to mention going to sleepovers and having a guy BITE me...interested? Read "A slightly random sleepover" lol**

**i love everyone who reviews and i shunnnnnn everyone who doesnt lol**

"What?"

"You don't have to look quite so surprised, Elphie"

"Ok, I'm now officially confused. Does this come before or after you call me a freak behind my back and hide my stuff?"

"What are you talking about? I never hid your stuff!"

"No, but I overheard Shenshen and Milla plotting something earlier..."

"Then they are in some SERIOUS trouble next time I see them... but I wasn't making it up, you know. I promise!"

"Wellll..."

"Elphie!"

"You...really think of me as your closest friend?"

"Elphie, I'm pretty sure you're my ONLY friend"

"Um. Right."

"Elphie, I'm pretty, right?"

"You're not unattractive..."

"Whatever. And i have money"

"Uh-huh"

I paused. I'd been thinking this before, more and more often over the last few days...but this was the first time I'd ever put it into words.

"Elphie, do you really think any of those people would even bother to LOOK at me if I wasn't?"

And it hurt.

"They don't care about ME, they barely know anything about me! They'll stay until my looks fade, or my money runs out, or they find someone better, whatever comes first. And then you'll see just how many friends I have left..."

But it was the truth.

"You're the only person here whose different! Whether you consider me a friend or not, at least I know that's really how you feel, and that its not just an act! I'd rather hear you say something sarcastic than listen to a room of people tell me I'm wonderful...knowing if I make a single mistake, they'll ditch me without a thought...because at least when I'm around you I can be myself! Even if you don't like me AT ALL, I'd rather hang out here with you than go out with them because I'm SICK of being around people who can't think for themselves!"

I think it was the longest speech I'd ever made in my life. It was also the only time I'd ever REALLY put myself out there.

If you were going to ditch me or say something cruel, you'd never have had a better moment.

"Glinda..."

"Yeah?"

"Would you be interested to know that I'd rather talk to you here than listen to a room of people tell me they hate me?"

I smiled.

"I always knew you had a mind of your own. Congratulations for discovering it yourself...I'd say you were the only real friend I've ever had, but let's not state the obvious."

"Really?"

"You're the only person who ever thought there was more to me than what was on the surface...or took the time to find out."

"And I could say exactly the same for you..."

You smiled. And i felt happier than I had for a long time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Wicked is cooool. I keep it under my bed. And i keep Fiyero IN my bed lol :)**

**I've been getting some lovely lovely reviews recently, and they make me really happy :) Just want to say thanks to you all (espeacially Mrs BangThomas, the only reviewer of chpter 5) I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!**

**BTW, i published a fic called "the ipod challenge" a while ago and i got NO reviews for it. It would make me very happy, just to get 1 review, then at least i know SOMEONES read it. Sooooo...please? pretty please?**

**I never thought this story would go on so long tbh...its all down to you for reviewing :) Im going to LONDON on saturdayyyyy, soooooo excited! Camden market, yayyyy! Anywayyyy...**

We're both kind of quiet after that, but not like we have nothing to say.

It's more like...and this is something so new to me, I'm surprised I can understand it at all... it's more like there's nothing we NEED to say.

It's enough that we can just sit together, take a few minutes to sort out the very, very huge change that has just occurred.

Because Oz! It's not like stuff like this happens every day.

It's starting to sink into me; everything is different now. I mean, in a way, everything IS still the same, because no one's here except you and me, and so technically I could just walk out right now and go back to my old friends, my old world, everything just the same as before.

Nothing is stopping me.

Except myself. I know everyone changes, but in the last two weeks, I've changed more than I have for the last three years, and now the transformation is complete because now even the IDEA of going back to those mindless clones makes me claustrophobic.

And I don't care. For now, at least, I feel nothing but relief.

It's over, it's over. My popularity, my status as most popular girl on campus, all of it's gone.

Thank Oz.

I have more questions that i want to ask you, but I don't know how.

I don't want to disturb this moment, this island of tranquility...but I have to.

Because one thing is really, REALLY bothering me.

"Elphie...you know you said you..." crap, how to put this tactfully? "couldn't go back home?"

Well, how many ways are there to put something like that?

"Yes"

"Are you...are you going to have to leave Shiz? Is youR father...I mean, is he still going to pay for you?"

Because, quite honestly, if you tell me you're leaving, then I will freak out.

And either leave with you or get you a scholarship or pay your tuition fees myself...but whatever, the freaking out will come first.

"No."

"No? You ARE leaving?"

A small pause.

"No. I mean...Father won't pay my tuition but he didn't pay my tuition to begin with. My mother left money in trust for me, to pay for my education. She made a will shortly before she died... I think she knew father wouldn't have paid for any sort of education for me, if she didn't do something about it."

"So you're staying?"

"Yes. For the foreseeable future, that is. Does that disappoint you?"

I fling myself on you with a hug so hard we both loose our balance and fall backwards across the bed, and when i look at you, i can't read your expression at first.

Then you smile, your whole face alight with happiness.

"I never thought I'd be happy about being able to KEEP sharing a room with you"

"Me neither..."

**FYI, THIS IS GELPHIE AS FRIENDS ONLY!**

**REVIEW PLEEEEASE!**


	7. Chapter 7

And that was it, right there, the day that everything that had happened before ended, and our futures seemed suddenly to stretch out before us, like long, unexplored pathways...

And there was no reason not to smile, no reason not to look forward to tomorrow...

Because everything...at last...was alright.

Almost everything.

There was still stuff that, to be honest, just sucked.

(You've only JUST conceded that suck is probably the best descriptive word in the universe... it took me a long time, though)

Like...there was your father.

I think (I hoped?) you felt better about it all after we had that talk and you realised that, at last, you weren't COMPLETELY alone.

But I knew better than anyone that just because you happen to feel better about something, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's completely fixed. Or that the problem won't come back and screw everything up for you another time.

I mean, I would do pretty much anything to help you...but I still couldn't do anything about the fact that you had a completly narrow-minded moron for a father.

I didn't pay a lot of attention to you, at first, although after a few months, I gradually realised that you weren't close to your father and didn't have any sadness about leaving home for the first time, but it wasn't until you opened up to me that I realised how bad things were.

After the initial shock I felt at the idea that your father could disown you so casually without the slightest provocation, the signs were so obvious to me, I wonderd how I could've missed them before.

Like Nessarose. I know sisters don't technically have any obligation to like each other or talk or anything...but they usually have SOMETHING to say to one another. But when you passed in the halls, no one would've guessed you were related if they hadn't already known. You didn't even seem to dislike each other that much...instead,there was just nothing.

A complete vacume of emotion between the two of you, and it actually freaked me out a little bit.

Not you. Nessarose.

That was something EVERYBODY knew about you, right from day 1, due to you throwing that fit on campus, that you had always cared for Nessa, almost your whole life.

And maybe nobody else thought about it, but I did... How could you go from completly depending on a person all your life...to just acting as if she didn't exist?

Didn't she see how isolated you were without her?

Although that's just a guess on my part, because for all I know, you might not have been bothered about it at all.

But she didnt seem to ever give you a chance to push her away and tell her you were fine by yourself...


	8. Chapter 8

It's a couple of nights later, and I can't sleep.

I've been an insomniac before, and I definitely don't like it.

It's so boring! I swear there is absolutely NOTHING to do, and if I didn't know how much you hated to wake up (forget not being a morning person, they needed a whole new word for you...) I might've accidentally-on-purpose made some noise so you'd wake up and talk to me. But I value my life.

Instead, I ran through a short conversation in my head with an imaginary you.

**_"Elphie, I'm bored_**

**_So?_**

**_There's nothing to do!_**

**_(It was very realistic- I was slightly whiny, you sounded slightly annoyed)_**

**_Only boring people get bored._**

**_You sound like my Grandmother._**

**_I'm sure she's a fascinating lady._**

**_What's there to do in the dark?_**

**_Pretend you're a mole._**

**_Um...wtf?_**

**_They live in the dark..._**

**_Oh, you are just so funny...NOT._**

**_And I am so very hurt you think so...NOT._**

**_Pleeease give me something to do!_**

**_Paint your nails._**

**_Nah, they're fine._**

**_Do your homework._**

**_Ooooooh...FUN_**

**_Ooooooh...sarcasm_**

**_Anything else?_**

**_Um...write a letter home._**

I was about to reply, but then I stopped.

The words stuck in my throat, they stuck in my MIND...you never got letters from home, though I'd sometimes seen you write them.

Oh no, wait, I forgot, you did get THAT letter from your father, the one I'd found you crying over.

I'd read it, and it had been so cruel, I'd put it down at the end, feeling sick.

Oz, WHY? Why did you put up with it, and why did you HAVE to put up with it?

If anybody at Shiz had read the letter, they'd know at once why you were so quiet, so sharp, so closed off all the time. You'd HAVE to be, growing up with a father who'd treat you like that.

One line in particular hurt. It pierced me, even though it was not directed to me.

_"If you had been a better daughter, I could've loved you..."_

How could you recover from a wound like that? The barb was so subtle, so deadly, making sure that not for one second did you stop blaming yourself.

It was...and i never use this word easily...EVIL. It was cruel, it was evil.

And while you might take it quietly, add it to the hurt you carried around with you every day, and keep on going...well, I couldn't.

I don't like to see people being hurt, especially not friends. Especially not you.

Switching on my bedside lamp, I picked up a pen and note pad.

And began my letter...

XXX

Sorry i haven't updated for AGES. So much c/w, plus the muses were evading me.

A levels are eating my soul, but i hope this chapter is ok.

Review if you want another chapter :)

xxxxx


	9. Chapter 9

Dear everyone:

I'm sorry for the lack of chapter. I was trying to fix my capitalizations and i made a mistake nd deleted a chapter. I'll try to write it again, but right now, i feel too down to try.

Please bear with me.


	10. Chapter 10

Right, chapter ten. My revision notes are sitting in a corner, crying because i'm ignoring them.....and the few bits of knowlege ive retained are running away together in a big, fun group.

So i guess i'll do what i enjoy...and update :)

Big hugs and bowls of green icecream deliverd by flying monkey to **James Birdsong, fgee **and most espeacially **lozzakapozza **:) You guys rock, and reading your reviews was the highlight of my day:) (Yes, i lead a geeky life...)

Anyone got anything they want to happen? Message me :) I'm not feeling a gelphie ficlet, tho, except as friends- i just can't see them getting furthur than immensly close friendship.

Oh, and im sorry about typos. My keyboard is an epic fail. Also i really can't spell. I'll start using spellcheck.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I can hear you tossing around in your sleep, and i stop writing for a bit, stretching my poor, cramped hand.

There's ink smudges across the page, ink stains on my finers, and inkspots on my pillowcase. My eyes are strained, my hand aches, and i passed the point of going from wide awake to exhausted a while ago....but right now, i DON'T CARE!

Really, i don't care. I feel POWERFUL, somehow. I know its only a letter, but still, the more i write, the better i feel. Seeing you cry made me so ANGRY, so furiously angry with the whole world that has treated you so badly, and it was like a heap of hot coals were smouldering inside me whenever i thought of it.

But this...this is different. I feel like i'm doing something good for once, something worthwhile, even if it is just a stupid letter. Like every word is a little bit more on the side of whats fair.

Is this how you feel when you talk about the Animals, when you get that look, and your eyes are like fire, and you stand straight, like you could do ANYTHING, anything at all, at that moment?

Maybe it sounds stupid, and exageratory, but thats honestly how i feel.

You murmur something in your sleep, and start tossing again, like you're having bad dreams, and i wait, watching you silently, until you settle down again.

Your blankets are strewn across the floor, and after a while i get out of bed, go, and lay them over you again. It's the best i can do, although it seems like such a paltry best: pick up your covers so you won't be cold, write a letter full of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes that probably will never be read, and be your friend...which, to be, honest, is just as much about helping me as it is about helping you.

Well, it'll do for right now.

"Happy dreams, Elphie" i murmur, picking up my writing stuff again. "I'm gonna fix some stuff for you. It'll all be okay, i promise"

Maybe i can't promise, not really....but that doesn't matter.

I pick up my pen again.

_"Where was i? _

_Oh, yes. I'll never forgive you. You probably don't care....but you know what? I don't care if you don't care. Although i should warn you, angering Uplands is NOT a good move..._

_The important thing is that Elphie is alright._

_Bet that surprises you._

_Well, okay, maybe she's not so alright now....but give her some time. Because she will be, i know she will._

_How do i know that?_

_Okay, firstly, she's smart. Maybe this is cliqued, but from what i've heard, life is a little easier when you don't have to worry about getting good grades. I don't know this from personal experience, but it's still true._

_Second, she's strong. And i guess she has you to thank for that. I mean, fifteen years of neglect and guilt-trips, and she's not crazy or suicidal or anything. Which is a little surprising, but still true. She can cope with whatever might come, which is a good ability to have, if you ask me.  
She's not really outgoing or open....but i'll take care of that. It's easier to be these things when people are nice to you anyway._

_Thirdly, she's a GOOD person. Does that surprise you? Are you realizing AT ALL just what a huge mistake you made when you gave up being her father?  
She CARES about things, as anyone who has ever seen her talk about Animal rights will understand. And although she hides it well, she can be sweet when she wants to be._

_And the final reason that i KNOW Elphie will be okay? _

_She has me. _

_So thats how i KNOW.  
I know other things, too._

_Do you KNOW Elphie? Do you know anything about her?_

_Not even just big things; do you know, for example, that she loves lightning and hates thunder? Do you know that her favourite colour is purple? (Almost everyone assumes its either green or black. But it's not. She only wears black because its one colour she knows that can NEVER clash with green. Thats something else that most people don't know: that Elphie DOES care a tiny bit about her looks, although she won't admit it.)_

_Do you know that she doodles tiny stars as a border around all her pages of notes? If a paper in unnamed, you can always tell its Elphies because of the stars, because she draws them on nearly everything._

_Do you know she loves velvet and hates lace, that she likes green apples but dislikes the red ones, that she always hums the same tune when she's getting ready to go anywhere?_

_I bet you don't know any of these things._

_But it doesn't matter any more, because i'm writing this letter to say this:_

_You did your best to mess her up, and it hasn't worked._

_Now leave her alone._

_You've already promised to do this, but i have to make sure._

_Because if you try to contact Elphie, or attempt to screw with her feelings any more than you already have done, i will make you very, very sorry._

_You are half to thank for Elphie, so i suppose i should say thank you._

_I don't doubt that she's the best thing you've ever done with your life._

_So thank you for the one real friend i've ever had._

_Yours sicerly, Glinda Upland"_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Reviews, pleeeeeeeeeeease?_


	11. Chapter 11

Just a short one today_hope its ok!

Dedicated to the wonderful people **Bookworm371, lozzakapozza, srd sakura, Demlurina, Whitemermage, fgee** and **XxBrianna Jackson xX**. I love all of you, and hope you enjoy the complimentery ruby slippers i am sending you via broomstick :)

Going to Cambridge for a banksy exhibition tomoro!

A/N Demlurlina- i honestly had forgotton that the title was from the song....but omg thats cool! Thanks for telling me, and also thanks for your review (since i cant message you, ill put it here :)

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It feels like only a few minutes have passed before i'm woken up by painfully bright sunlight burning my eyelids, the squeak of a window being pushed open, and the tumbled voices of students gathering outside in the cobbled courtyard.

There's a clock chiming, too, somewhere in the distance: i count the chimes to work out whether i have to get up yet, and get to eight before i remember its saturday.

Oh thank Oz.

Sinking back into my pillows, i flop an arm over my eyes to salvage my corneas, and groan.

"Shut the window, Elphie"

From the way i can hear you moving about the room, i can tell you're pretending not to hear me. I make my voice louder.

"Elphie, if you like me AT ALL, you will shut the window..."

There's a pause, while you decide whether to ignore me or not....and then the sounds from outside are muted.

"Damn you, Glinda Upland, with your sly emotional blackmail-"

"Damn you, Elphaba Thropp... weird girl who opens the window at stupid hours..."

It's not the cleverest comeback, i'll admit it, but hey, i'm sleep-deprived!

I'd ask you to shut the curtains too....but i know by now that its pointless.

It's like a ritual- every morning, as soon as you are properly awake (which can take over an hour some days), the first thing you do is open the curtains, open the window, and lean out to check the weather.

That's EVERY morning: sun, rain, clouds.... i'd be prepared to be you'd do it in fog, snow, hail or hurricane too.

Sometimes, it makes me laugh. I mean, ask ANYONE at Shiz, and they'll probably assume you sleep in a black room, with black furniture, without so much as a light switch, let alone a real window.

What would they say if they could see THIS you, who loves fresh air and sun and walking in the rain without an umbrella... who wouldn't ever close the windows if i didn't make her? What would they say?

My thoughts are cut off.

"Glinda, why do you have ink on your hands?"

Damnit, i remember now i forgot to wash after i finished the letter....where is it now?

After a moment of panic, i spot it on the floor, and half fall out of bed in an attempt to grab it before you pick it up by mistake.

"Um...it's nothing. Just...an essay. An essay i forgot to write."

I'm not quite sure why i don't want to show you the letter just yet.

Maybe because you seem happier today...normal, but still happier. I don't want to be the one to ruin that by reminding you of your severly messed-up family life.  
I push the letter under my pilow instead.


	12. Chapter 12

For **Bookworm371, lozzakapozza, denpa wave chick saki, SopranoElphiexx, housefrk, Demlurina, fgee** and **XxBrianna Jackson xX, **you awesome peopleeee :) Enjoy your complimentary sexy beast of a yellow brick road, which should appear outside your houses tomoro :)

Little poll: anyone got any deep feelings about what they want to happen to Glindas letter? If not, ill just see how it goes :)

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Saturday is absolutely the best day of the week. Not least because they serve pancakes for saturday morning breakfast.

Whoever invented Saturdays was definitly having one INSPIRED day...

Today, i'm ready to go to the dining hall first (which is surprising, and possibly the first time this has happend EVER).

"Come onnnnnn, Elphie! All the strawberry ones will be gone!"

"You don't have to wait for me, you know. I've survived a surprisingly long time going to breakfast by myself..."

"You may have survived it, but who knows what it'll do to me?" It's beyond tragic to let your roommate walk into breakfast by herself. Also i'm afraid that if i go down by myself, Milla or Shen-shen will latch onto me again, and i might have to kill myself if they do.

"Actually..." Your avoiding my eyes now, still pretending to be absorbed with brushing out your hair "I think i'll skip breakfast today"

"But you love pancakes..."

"I'm...not hungry..."

"Oh Oz, what an amazing liar you are..."

"Stop it, Glinda. You can go to breakfast on your own for once, it won't kill you"

"That's what you think..."

When you ignore me, i change tactic.

"Elphie? Why don't you want to come down?"

"It's nothing. I'm just not hungry"

"If its nothing, then just come to keep me company. Please, i need someone intelligent to talk to before my mind turns to candyfloss!"

"No"

"WHY?"

"No reason!"

"Then prove it, and come down!"

"Glinda, please just leave me alone!"

I know i may not be helping...but damn, i HAVE to figure out what it is!

But i realise i should probably be doing this better. When i sit next to you on the bed, you move away half-heartedly, and then give up.

"I'll leave you alone later, i promise. But right now i need to annoy you until you tell me whats wrong."

"Really?"

"Yep. I can do this all day if i have to." A pause. "Oh pleeeeeease, Elphie!" A longer pause. "You came to breakfast yesterday. Why is today different?"

"Glinda, please just let it go..."

"Why won't you tell me?"

"I can't tell you..." You sigh, and flop back onto the quilt "because now its been built up to much, and it was kind of stupid to begin with, and now it sounds REALLY stupid, and so i'd rather not say it out loud."

"Oh"

Okay, now i REALLY don't know what to say. I mean, i feel mean to force you now....but i REALLY want some breakfast.

And i kind of suspect that you do, too. Whatever you say.

I lean my head against the wall, and try to think of something.

You're silent.

Then: "Elphie?"

"If you ask me to tell you again, i swear to Oz, Glinda...."

"No, that wasn't what i was going to say... Elphie, do you want to go out for breakfast?"


	13. Chapter 13

For **Bookworm371, lozzakapozza, Whitemermage, housefrk, Demlurina, fgee** and **XxBrianna Jackson xX**

**Seriously, the fact that you guys not only reviewed once, but KEEP reviewing makes me SO happy :) Who cares if i'm drowning in a sea of exams, and have some seriously sucky stuff going on with my family? Reviews actually DO fix everything.**

**If you would like me to write another chapter tomoro instead of doing my general studies exam, please let me know :) **

**And thanks for poll feedback! If this story gets boring, tell me, PLEASE**

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The walk into town is pretty much silent. You say nothing, i say nothing.

The more time goes by, the more i silently freak out over whats wrong. It's like an internal monologue:

_"Oh Oz, something is seriously wrong here, what am i going to do if she won't tell me?  
__Ok. Deep breath and calm down, Glinda, it's probably nothing... _

_No. No way. If it was nothing, we'd be in the dining hall right now, fighting over the maple syrup.  
Instead, we're walking to town to eat, which is all very nice in the right ci__rcumstances....BUT THESE ARE NOT THEM! Or those, i mean._

_Oz! I bet she's pregnant! It'll be just like that movie i saw.... But whose the father? What if it's BOQS? The baby will be green...AND short! Wait. No. It can't be Boqs....what am i saying, she's probably not even pregnant. It's probably something stupid. _

__

Like her cat died and she doesn't want to be in the dining hall in case something reminds her of him...

Ooh, there's a cat! Does she look more upset now she's seen it?

_Damn, why is she still looking at the ground... Come ON, Elphie, look up! Oh great. Now the cat's run away... _

_Wait a minute.... does she even HAVE a cat?"_

I get distracted by the red and white awning up ahead, and manage to grab your arm and pull you inside the small cafe.

It's still early, so its only half full, meaning we get our pick of the tables.

Well, MY pick; when i ask you where you want to sit, you just shrug, so i put my stuff down at my favourite table, right by the window. You can see the fountain in the square outide, the pidgeons pecking at crumbs, the geraniums in the window.... this is my favourite part of town, because if you catch it at just the right time, its....perfect.

And right now is EXACTLY the right time. It even takes my mind off your elusive secret for a few minutes.

"Yes?" A slightly bored looking munchkin, wearing a striped apron, materializes at your side, pen poised, pad ready to take our orders.

Well, if the setting is idyllic, i never said the service was perfect.

I don't even need to look at my menue. "I'll have the strawberry pancakes. And maple syrup, please. Ooh, and a hot chocolate!"

"Uh-huh..." His pen skims the pages. He doesn't look up. "And for you?"

"Ummm..." You scan your menue, and before you order, i just KNOW you're going to order something boring, like toast and coffee.

"She'll have the blueberry waffles. And hot chocolate." Demurely, i scoop up both menues and hand them to the waiter, ignoring the Look you're giving me.

"Sorry, Elphie, but in your fragile state, i didn't think you should be making any important decisions..."

"Do you know how much i HATE it when people order for me?"

"I'm sure you'll tell me one day. But trust me, the blueberry waffles are fantastic"

"Then how come you didn't order them?"

"I like something a little sweeter..."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

Pause.

"Glinda...it's because they're pink, isn't it?"

"Um....maybe...."

We both start to laugh.

"Come on, pink stuff ALWAYS tastes better!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Uh-huh. Scientifically proven fact..."

"WHICH scientists?"

"Pretty ones....oh, our hot chocolate is here!"

We sip in silence for a few moments, watching the people outside, and then you put down your cup.

"Ok...i admit it, this is REALLY good..."

"So you admit i was right?"

"With Oz as my witness, i'll never doubt you again"

"Good decision..."

We talk about this and that while we eat our breakfast and sip our chocolate, until eventually i have to try asking you again.

"Elphie?"

"Yeah?"

"Why wouldn't you come to the dining hall today?"

"Glinda....."

"Elphie, you KNOW i won't tell anyone else"

"That's not what i'm afraid of"

"Then what are you afraid of?"

"I don't know... it's just such a pathetic, stupid thing, it's embarassing"

"What do i have to do to make you tell me? Please, Elphie!"

Theres a silence. Then you sigh and lean your head into your hands for a few moments.

Muffled "You really want to know?"

"Obviously i do"

"Fine. I don't want to go into breakfast today....and not just breakfast, but ANYWHERE around Shiz....because SHE'LL be there"

"Who'll be there?"

After a while, you sit back up again, and look out of the window to avoid my eyes.

Then, so quietly i can barely here.... "Nessarose..."


	14. Chapter 14

Previously:

__

"She'll be there..."

"Who's she?"

"Nessarose..."

"Nessa?"

Oz, that came out badly... I swear, it was just because i was surprised (i'd been expecting you to say Pfannee, or Milla or someone like that), and more than a little relieved (i'd still been half convinced you were going to tell me you were pregnant, to be honest).

Hurt flickers across your face for a second, before the closed-off look i remember comes back again.  
"It doesn't matter. I said it was stupid-"

"Elphie, you know i didn't mean it like that!" A noisy crowd of children run past the window, pushing each other and laughing. "I just....i was just surprised, that's all"

"Why?" There's more than a hint of bitterness in your voice. "Because you find it hard to imagine anyone wanting to avoid such a sweet, innocent, _pretty_ little thing?"

"No...i..." I lean forward and lower my voice slightly "Elphie, if you must know, i assumed you were going to tell me you were pregnant-"

Ha! That catches you off guard; at first, you look too shocked to even respond.

Then "You thought i was PREGNANT?"

Oh great. Now half the cafes looking at us.

"Oh say it louder, Elphie....what if somebody didn't hear..."

"Sorry, you just....i mean, what.... how...." You start a lot of what i'm sure would be great sentances. "You know what....i'm not even going to think about it. Its too weird..."

"Fine....although you're probably too late- i bet you ANYTHING some one will have asked me if its true by this time tomorow."

"I bet you get asked before we get back today"

"A chocolate milkshake to a strawberry smoothie?"

"Done."

"Can we get back to the real issue now?"

"Um....what real issue?"

"You KNOW what i'm talking about! Don't pretend, you're really bad at it..."

"You're very cruel for somone who's so blonde..."

"So i've been told, but don't change the subject."

"Do we have to get into it now?"

"No, we can get into it here, or we can pay and get into it outside"

"May as well stay, at least there's hot chocolate here...ok, what do you want to know?"

"Um...ok, to begin with, WHY don't you want to be around Nessa?"

"Because! She's....HER... do you understand?"

"I can safely say i don't... i mean, i understand she can be kind of...." I was trying to stay diplomatic but it was hard "um...bitchy sometimes-?"

"No....no, thats not it at all... Okay, THIS is why its stupid. She hasn't done anything, she hasn't even SAID anything- theres a million more people who have done worse- but its like...when i look at her, she makes me remember EVERYTHING. Stuff i don't want to think about. Ever."

You look up with a half smile playing about your lips.

"Wow, you're not laughing and you haven't walked away..."

"Explain more of it. What stuff don't you want to-"

"Just everything. My whole fail of a life. Like mother dying,and father hating me....things he's said or done just randomly come to me when i see her. And everybody hating me...its like she's a link to everything bad...."

"But..." I'm confused. "have you felt like this forever? Since the begining of the year? Why didn't you-"

"It was the letter that did it, i think..." From the way you're tracing patterns in spilt sugar with your fingertip on the table top, it feels like you're talking more to yourself than me.  
"I mean, we were close...but we weren't. You know what i mean. At home we were close, but here we weren't."

"Yeah..." Its bugged me for so long, the way Nessa had ignored you nearly since the begining of term.

"But everything was different here. We were away from home, i was away from father.... And the seminars were fascinating.... And then i had you to talk to, so i wasn't really alone anymore. And it was all....good. Just kind of nice. And it let me forget all the home stuff because everything was so new here. But then the letter-"

You bite your lip, hard, biting back tears or anger, i can't tell, before you meet my eyes.

"The letter was EVERYTHING. Like a reminder...there i was, finally happy, and then reality sets in again. Like- pretend what you want, this is what your life REALLY is! And then-"

Your eyes are shiney with unshed tears.

"Then you were so nice to me...nicer than ANYONE has EVER been to me...and you actually CARED what was going to happen to me! Nessa didn't even ask me where i was going to go, and she's my SISTER! She just handed me the letter... Oz, i could understand her not caring about me in front of father but she is my SISTER! Didn't she....doesn't she..."

You break off, and i suddenly realise the cafe is almost silent. EVERYONE must be listening to us... wow, thats embarassing....

"I think we should-"

I don't bother to finish, just drop some money on the table, push my chair back and stand up, and we leave in hallowed silence. Out of the corner of my vision, i can see you surreptiously wiping your eyes, but when you next speak, you voice is normal again, like a plea for me to be normal too.

"Do you want a break before i tell you the rest? I don't want you to overdose on my tragic tale..."

I think we both know the break isn't for my sake.

"Okay, let's find somewhere else to go....maybe somewhere that hasn't heard about your phantom pregnancy..."

"I think that would be good..."


	15. Chapter 15

I'm sorry for the lack of dedications_ugh, fail of a day...... the university i want to go to is in freakin' cornwall, so its MILES away, i've wasted hours of revision, my neck hurts, my family is making me count down the days before i can finally leave , there are chavs and motorbikes outside my window.... and why would ANYONE think its a good idea to get drama feedback TWO days before our final? Its not like it'll do any good then_they're year tens, anyway, who CARES what they think? Who cares if you know your lines anyway?

I'd like to apologize_this is what i'd be posting on fb now, if i hadnt added the person i'm mad at...

Anyway..... moving on_thank yous to Demlurina, Sephsekla, Whitemermage, housefrk, Brianna Jackson, fgee, lozzakapozza, and Bookworm371 because you all ROCK, and i hope you enjoy your evenings :)

Right.

I know this is technically not a chapter, but i'd like some idea of what everyone would like to happen later.

If you want to be surprised with whatever i come up with, or if you have anything specific you would like to happen in regards to elphaba, frex, nessa, glinda or the letter etc....please let me know!

I think i'm gonna go write a drabble. Wicked based, obviously. So there, this chapter was not completly wasted

Peace out, and defy gravity :)


	16. Chapter 16

The second we're outside, my first instinct is to bombard you with questions, and pick up where we left off, but one look at your face tells me to wait.

And i do, although i have to practically bite my tongue off.

Instead, all i say is "do you want to go back?"

The clear skies of early this morning have already started clouding over, and the dark centers of the clouds warn of rain, but i can't tell how soon.

"Do you want to go back?"

I HATE it when you do that! I take a gamble and shake my head.

"Not really." Then i suddenly remember: "Damn, I've got an appointment at the hairdressers this morning!"

"Do you have to go right away?"

"No, it's not for a couple of hours. Do you want to come?"

Horror flickers across your face before you can disguise it, and i laugh. "I'll take that as a no then..."

"I'm sorry. I don't think i'd fit in very well at one of those places"

"Since when have you cared about fitting in?"

We've started walking, absently; i'm following you, you're following me, and although i asked the question lightly, i can see you considering it carefully, out of the corner of my eye.

"I can't care about fitting in"

"Why?" I wasn't expecting that.

Your smile is small and cryptic. "Because if i let myself care, REALLY care, i mean....then i'd go my entire life being terribly dissapointed-"

I'm not sure how to reply; it's one of your painfully truthful statements that leaves no room for anything superficial, and we pass a noisy crowd of Vinkus tourists in silence.

"Glinda-"

"Yeah?"

We've left the more conventional part of town for winding streets with large, uneven cobblestones, and smaller, invidual stalls and stands. Everything here seems a hundred times brighter, makeshift shelves and tables spilling from alcoves, crowded with a hundred different goods, all jostling for space in a too-small space.

It's not much quieter than everywhere else; many shops have windchimes swaying in the breeze, and smouldering dishes of incense curl musky clouds up and out into the road.

I've never been here before in my life.

"Do you mind if we go in here? I want to show you something"

The shop directly in front of where we're standing is a little bigger than all the others, plainer and darker. Through the dusty panes, i can make out shelf upon shelf of slightly batterd leather bound books, and i'm not even surprised.

The bells above the door jingle as we step inside. It's a lot darker than outside, but from the way you move, its obvious you've been here before.

"Are we the only people here?" I can't see a clerk or anything, and you shrug. "Probably not, the owner should be somewhere around here. He doesn't like to bother people, though....Come on, it's over here...."

I follow you through the alleys in between the ceiling-high shelves.

"Do you come here often?"

"Once a week, usually, sometimes more... it's one of my favourite things about coming to Shiz. I found it my second day here" There's a light, a pride in your face when you say that, and it strikes me suddenly how no one else i know would equal finding a dusty old bookshop with achievment.

"I've never brought anyone else here. I don't think anyone else at Shiz even knows its here" We've come to a dead-end in the maze. A purple velvet chair, with curved wooden feet rests in the corner. "This is my favourite section..."

I slide a book from the shelf nearest to me, and open it at random.

"Poetry?"

"Yes"

"I never thought you'd be into poetry somehow..."

"No, neither did i. Until i read it, REALLY read it"

I feel slightly embarassed when i speak: "I'm not really a fan of poetry either" Saying it here feels like sacrilige, like denouncing the Unnamed God in church.

"Have you ever read it outside of school?"

"No." I'm uncomfortable saying it. "Going through it, saying what every bit of it meant, and why it was there, and everything....it was kind of, well, boring...."

"I know"

"Then why do you-"

"We never had many poetry books in the house. Once i found one, and started flicking through it, and then i found THIS poem-" You slide another book from another shelf, and open it where a page is folded over. "And when i read it, it was like someone had written it for me, it was like my life in verse..."

You smile, completly devoid of self-pity, and start to read.

"From childhood's hour I have not been/ As others were; I have not seen/ As others saw; I could not bring/ My passions from a common spring./ From the same source I have not taken/ My sorrow; I could not awaken/ My heart to joy at the same tone;/ And all I loved, I loved alone."

You finish reading and snap the book shut. "Everything you've ever felt has been written about somewhere. You just have to find it."

I'm silent, silent with the fact that you are obviously happier about finding the pom than you are miserable about experiencing the content to the poem. For now, at least.

"Now you find one."

"What?"

"Pick a book, and open it."

Dust rising from the pages makes me sneeze before i can read the words, and when i can, i hold the book out to her. "What does it mean? It's so confusing..." What i'm actually thinking is "who would read this for pleasure?"

You scan the page and hand me the book back. "Read it aloud"

"Do i have to?"

"Yes. Its different when you read it aloud"

"How?"

"I don't know. But it sounds better"

"Okay..." I clear my throat and begin. "Oh where are you going/ said rider to reader/ that valley is fatal when furnaces burn/ younders the midden/ whose odours will madden/ that gap is the grave/ where the tall return"

Somehow...she's right. It does sound better aloud.

"I still don't understand it, though"

"That doesn't matter. Don't tear a poem apart searching for meaning. Just...enjoy it"

"Um, ok..."

"It is possible to enjoy poetry, i promise. But you have to find the right poem first... I found this one last year" You open another book and begin, and something about it is different, and i'm left surprised because i never knew poetry could be this way before...

"Lets put our faith elsewhere/ the new centuary is silverd with those girls and you/ lets paint our mouths with opal, splash irridesence on our thighs/ these is a potential in goodbyes/ this may not be freedom but it feels like wine..."

"I wanted to show you.... something new...." There's a sudden uncertainty in your voice, like you are doubting yourself now... but I'm interested now.

And when i pull another book, unbidden, from the shelf, i can see you smile...

XXXXXX

I hope this chapter was ok_ what did you think?

I'm not quite sure why i put in this chapter, except i like the poetry.

Disclaimer: I don't own wicked, camden market, edgar allen poe, auden or imtiaz dharker.

All reviewers will have fiyero visit their homes tonight.... (or any other character from wicked of your choice)

Please review!


	17. Chapter 17

The more i read, the more absorbed i become. The words swirl pictures and colours through my minds, sometimes disolving before i see them properly, others more real, more solid.

I realise i'm mouthing the words as i read them, until i can hear myself, softly... "In the burrows of the nightmare, where justice naked is, time watches from the shadows and coughs when you would kiss..."

Glancing up, i catch your eye, and the amusement written on your face makes me feel slightly embarassed: reading poetry aloud in shops is not what i do. Reading poetry at all is not what i do. I have friends, aquaintances may be a better word now, who would say that reading for pleasure at all is not what they or anyone else SHOULD do.

But i wouldn't go that far. I do read... but i've never been so...involved before.

"Don't stop-"

"What?"

"You don't have to stop reading because you've rememberd i'm here. I won't broadcast this scandaliscious piece of gossip, i promise."

"What gossip?"

"I'm not sure... would it be more surprising to them to admit that you have a mind of your own, or to say that i always knew it was there somewhere?"

Sometimes, the sharpness of your words tastes almost exactly like the strawberrys i picked from our garden when i was little: refreshing in how different they tasted to everything else.

"Anything would surprise them. Speaking about me as a friend might just push them over the edge..."

Idly, i scoop a slim, waterstained volume from the floor and begin to leaf through it. I stop halfway through, at random.

"Its ok to read it out loud... most poetry should be read out loud, anyway."

As i resume reading, it occurs to me that at one time, i would've been embarrassed to be seen here with you, in a bookshop of all places, because of how they would've judged you... Now, the thought of admitting to being friends with people like that bothers me, because of how you would see me...

We stay for a while, passing books back and forth between us, until a clock chimes and i realise i'll have to hurry to make it to my appointment on time, and we spill from the shops doorway on a sudden high, arguing over the best we've read so far.

At the fork in the roads, we split.

"I'll see you later"

"Have fun at the salon"

"I know you meant that sarcastically...but i will!" I turn back. "Oh, and Elphie?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for...you know, showing me everything"

XXX

Thanks for reviewing, guys!

Demlurlina: Aw i wish i did write those poems! Unfortunatly, i didn't :( The first was by Edgar Allen Poe, the second was by w.h auden, and the third was by imtiaz dharker. All great poets :)


	18. Chapter 18

_I turn back. "Oh, and Elphie?" _

_"Yes?"_

_"Thanks for...you know, showing me everything"_

You flash me a smile (a REAL smile, which for once is not sarcastic, and which would be completly unrecognisable to most of the students and proffessors at Shiz), wave and carry on walking.

The bookshop was new and almost exotic in how different it was to everything else i'm used to... but the salon is familiar to me in a way that your bedroom is familiar.

I know this place, and from the moment i step inside, i'm enveloped in its cloud of hairspray, perfumes, fresh-smelling shampoo and conditioner, the hard underlying smell of nail polish... I've enterd girl-world, the shiney and perfect domain of teenage girls everywhere... even those who may be realising for the first time in their lives that there is actually more to them this.

The salon hasn't changed. The same stylists are here, the same magazines lay on the tables and, don't get me wrong, i still enjoy getting my hair done because i've always had a thing about people touching my hair...

But i can't relax as much as i'd like to, because the longer i'm there, and the more conversations i overhear, the more i am distracted from everything by the tiny voice (which, if you want to know, sounds A LOT like you) in my head which asks again and again why i've never noticed before just how irritatingly vapid these people are.

The more time i spend with you, the more details i notice: the woman who carries a minature pug with her and talks to it incessantly, as if it's a child, in between a phone call to her sons nanny, explaining why she can't join them for lunch.

There's the girl who waits for her friends to choose their nail polish colours before she chooses her own, to be sure she fits in with the rest of them.

There's the women who loudly discuss the latest celebrity gossip as if its real life, involving people they actually know rather than complete strangers.

And on top of that, theres a constant background cover of shrieks and squeals and insipid comments and fake laughter and even faker compliments...

After a while, i shut my eyes and try to block out everything before i end up leaving before the stylist is finished working on me.

Guyssss my computer crashed before i'd saved the other half of this! *cries :'(

So ill post this.

Im sorry its been SO long_i took my friend James to see Wicked last week_I thought he might not like it, cos he's a guy nd stuff, but he liked it! And i'm re-obsessed. I got an AWESOME tshirt from the ozdust botique nd the green really does go good with my new pink hair! So i'm galindified lol

Please review if you liked it at all_it'll give me strength to rewrite the deleted bit of this chapter!

Dedicated to SPANISHBUZZFTW :)


	19. Chapter 19

I also end up having to block out my own thoughts, too...

Mostly, the uncomfortable suspicion that i am becoming a snob.

Do i really think i'm better than these people, just because i spent a couple o hours in a bookshop this morning?

Am i really in any position to dictate what is the right way to feel?

Damn. I never used to think this much. You are messing me up, and its very disconcerting...

"Shenshen, did you remember to-"

The door opens, and new voices join the babble.

Two very recognizable voices...

I really, really hope they don't see me...

Milla and Shenshen, when they finally get their seats, are sitting with their backs to me- luckily i'm out of their range of vision, but unfortunatly, i can overhear everything they say.

"Milla, have you seen Miss Glinda recently?"

A snort of derisive laughter. "Haven't you heard the news? NOBODY has seen anything of Miss Glinda for some time, you know. It's quite curious..."

"Is she-"

"Sick? No, at least not in THAT way..."

"In what way then?"

"Well... it is true that Glinda has been looking rather more...GREEN recently..."

"You mean-"

"Isn't it strange? She's been like that since the Ozdust..."

"Oh don't even TALK about that! It was horrible for words!"

"Dancing with her? Really DANCING with her?"

"I know! So who CARES if the artichoke was embarrased? That was the POINT! And, as i recall, it was Glinda's idea in the first place anyway"

"Maybe she's acting like her friend to make herself feel better?"

"Well, i certainly can't image why else she'd be hanging around her all the time-"

"Don't you think we should do something about it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, obviously it won't last. And the sooner the better, obviously. Once Glinda has done her penance, she can drop the little freak and we can begin some damage control."

"Of course"

"Well, i was just afraid...what if the artichoke thinks Glinda's serious about all this? It may be rather hard to get rid of her, unless we do something...and Glinda would be far to sweet to just tell her that this whole friendship thing is just a joke..."

"You think we need to... enlighten the girl?"

"I think we NEED to..."

"When?"

"Somewhere she can be in no doubt that we are serious..."

"Dining hall?"

"Perhaps..."

Well, here's the other part...

Review if you want me to continue!


	20. Chapter 20

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"Well, i was just afraid...what if the artichoke thinks Glinda's serious about all this? It may be rather hard to get rid of her, unless we do something...and Glinda would be far to sweet to just tell her that this whole friendship thing is just a joke..."

"You think we need to... enlighten the girl?"

"I think we NEED to..."

"When?"

"Somewhere she can be in no doubt that we are serious..."

"Dining hall?"

"Perhaps..."

Sometimes, there are moments when you are forced to contemplate things so horrible that your whole body needs to shut down for a few moments, just to give you time to absorb them.

The shock is huge, too big to feel: it makes me feel sick, and the immeadiate need to move, to act, to SAY something, overwhelms me and leaves me temporarily paralyzed.

In the most important moments, you can only really count on your body doing the opposite of what you want...

"Do you know where she is?"

"Glinda?"

"No, you idiot, the green bean!"

"Ohh... no"

"Well, we should really try to find her today"

"No time like the present..."

This can't be happening.

Then again, once upon a time, people believe that green would only ever be the colour of the frogs ans caterpillars, and that you and i would hate each other until the end of time or graduation, whichever came first.

But i still can't believe this.

They are- were- my friends.

We sat together every day, we talked, we shared secrets, we shopped together and giggled together, and we hugged too many times to count. We told each other that we were pretty, and talked about what we'd do in ten years as easily as we talked about where we'd go to lunch the next day.

And i KNEW they could be mean, because i knew that I could be mean, and even then, i knew they could be caring, too, because we'd all helped each other and been helped at different point.

Break ups, and PMS and failing grades and homesickness and hang-overs, and omigod-i-can't-believe-i-was-that-drunk, and did-i-really-kiss-him, and hurtful rumours and...well, everything.

Every little pain and hurt that every girl in the world goes through at least once, we all supported each other through it, and thats what makes this SO awful.

I loved them...but i love you, too. And HOW can i understand them now? The girls i was friends with are different to the girls who sit here and casually plan how to destroy your life...and they are the same, and now i can't be sure who they are any more.

I'm frozen, the stylist is fixing my hair like nothing is crashing down all around me, and i'm thinking this.

And then, out of nowhere, i get this very strong picture in my mind of the tears sliding down your face when you told me that everybody hated you.

And confusion is replaced by an anger that makes the back of my neck prickle, and i'm suddenly furious at the two of them, who have made your life so unhappy, and people like them who have done the same for years and years, who do it so carelessly, and who would happily watch you break again and again because to them, you don't matter.

I'm not a snob. But i'm not afraid to stand up and say that yes, i AM better than those two. Maybe not by much, but still better.

"Milla!"

The stylist has gone to fetch something, but i think i would've stood up just as suddenly if she HAD been there.

"Glinda! Have you just come-"

"No, actually, i've been here the whole time, thank you-"

"Glinda, whats the-"

"I don't enjoy talking to you for longer than i have to, but i just need to tel you this: if you do ANYTHING to Elphaba, if you hurt her in ANY way, then i will personally make sure that a LOT worse is done to you and your group. Do you understand?"

"What in Ozs name are you-"

"I heard exactly what you are planning to do, and...and i can't believe i ever considerd you my friends. Seriously, it HURTS."

XXXXX

Review if you want more, and tell me what you want to happen next :)

Reviews make Elphaba happy!

Dedicated to sakura and spanishbuzzftw, for their lovely reviews!


	21. Chapter 21

Dear noname

thank you for your (annonymous) review_i just wanted to thank you for taking the time to review, and to let you know i've begun the process of fixing the spelling in the chapters.

I just have spelling issues_i think its a waste of time and also i just cant spell (and half the time, the spellcheck doesn't work, on either word or this website), but hopefully now you'll be able to get past chapter 7.

I got to chapter 9_then i lost chapter 9 after fixing it, and so there's just an apology rather than a chapter. Skip it, if you want, it's just a rather scathing letter to frex, and thats all. I'll fix the other 11 chapters another day, i think.

Anyway, i hope you find the story more readable now.


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